She Keeps Me Warm
by BackwardDreams
Summary: Sometimes it takes something drastic to happen for people to really open their eyes and see what is in front of them. Hearing the news of Finn's passing Santana takes a step back to reevaluate her life and her decisions. All the while trying to keep her closest friends from breaking apart completely. Mostly centered around the original cast. Brittana/Faberry & Pezberry (friendship)
1. Chapter 1

**This has nothing to do with how glee is actually going to play out.**

**No spoilers for 5x03 at all.**

**I do not own glee.**

**RIP Cory.**

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The air was thick, the city lights glared all around her.

The loud noises of the busy city night were now dulled out.

She sat on the fire escape outside their apartment wrapped in Rachel's tear soaked blanket.

A million thoughts were running through her mind.

A million emotions taking over her body.

One moment she was crying.

The next she was laughing.

The next she was angry.

She couldn't even imagine what the little brunette inside was going through.

She couldn't believe that he was actually gone.

"Fucking unfair." She mumbled, picking away at the chipped paint on the railing.

She didn't know how it happened, or why it happened. All she knew was that he was young; he had his whole life ahead of him.

He was supposed to be here.

It had always been Finn and Rachel. Rachel and Finn.

Sure they had gone through a tough time, but any person with eyes could see that those two were meant for each other.

They were supposed to work out their differences.

He was supposed to move in with them, even if he did work her nerves.

He was supposed to get a second chance at properly marrying Rachel; she was going to have Quinn ride with her just to make sure all went well.

He was supposed to get a job here; they were supposed to start a family.

They were supposed to live happily.

Now Rachel was in there, her heart broken.

Finn was…

She didn't even want to think about it.

A fresh wave of tears started streaming down her face.

She could hear Rachel's cries. She wanted to go in there and comfort the girl, but she knew that she wasn't strong enough at the moment.

And she needed to be strong for Rachel.

Pulling out her cell phone she looked at the text messages.

_**Puck: Call me. ASAP plz San**_

_**Puck: Hes rly gone I dont understand why him**_

_**Mercedes: Hey girl I just heard the news. Are you okay? How are Rachel and Kurt? Call me when you can.**_

_**Artie: Schue told us the news today. I can't believe it. Hope you guys are doing okay. Tell Kurt and Rachel I am thinking of them. I love you guys.**_

_**Tina: I tried calling Rachel. Is she okay? Do you need us to come up there? **_

_**Brittany: I luv u Santana. **_

_**Brittany: I want this to be a nitemare. **_

_**Brittany: Please tell Rach and Kurt I luv them. **_

_**Quinn: I will be there shortly. Mercedes called me. I can't believe this happened. Please take care of Kurt and Rachel till I get there. I hope you are okay too. I love you guys. I will call when I arrive.**_

_**Sue Sylvester: I still have your number. Take care of Streisand and Porcelain. You are strong Santana. I know that because I trained you to be. I'm sorry for your loss. I know all you glee kids were close. Just know I am here if you need to talk. **_

_**Blaine: Please tell Kurt to call me Santana. I can't get there till Wednesday. Please tell him to call me. Mr. Schue just told us about what happened. Nobody wants to believe it. I hope you all are okay. Tell Rachel I love her. And I love you.**_

"Finn. Finn. Finn." She mumbled again.

Taking a few deep breaths, she wiped her eyes.

She knew they were puffy and bloodshot.

She turned to look inside the apartment.

Rachel was lying on the couch, her head resting in Kurt's lap.

Kurt was just staring off, his eyes full of nothing but sorrow and confusion.

Standing up, she rewrapped the blanket around her and climbed through the window back inside the apartment. Shutting it and locking it, she took one more deep breath before going to the couch where her two roommates were at.

"Come here." She whispered, Rachel looked up to her with her big doe eyes.

She was so broken. It actually scared Santana.

Rachel slowly stood up walking to her.

She wrapped Rachel up in a hug, letting the smaller girl rest her head on her shoulder and she began to cry.

She slowly dropped them to the floor, resting their backs against the couch.

Looking up at Kurt, she saw the boy silently crying, tears pouring down his face.

"You too." Santana choked out, Kurt sliding down on the floor, hugging the other side of Santana.

All three of them huddled together and cried.

Cried for a lost friend.

A lost brother.

A lost lover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews/favs/follows.**

**They are much appreciated.**

**Here is the continuation.**

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The banging at the door wakes her out of her slumber.

She looks around to notice Rachel is curled up on the floor next to her wrapped up in her blanket, Kurt has returned to the couch and is still heavily asleep.

She is glad that they are both sleeping right now. This whole situation is exhausting.

Mentally and psychically.

Especially for them two.

Reaching over she brushes the hair out of Rachel's face. She can see the dried tear tracks on the girl's cheeks

The banging at the door has intensified.

"Okay. Jesus." She mumbles getting up off the floor and walking to the door.

Unlocking the locks she already knows who it is, their persistent knocking gives them away immediately.

"Quinn." Santana whispers, automatically being swept up in her best friend's arms.

"Hey San." Quinn says back, sniffling.

Her eyes are bloodshot, her face is flushed. The girl had obviously been crying the whole trip there.

"Come in." Santana grabs one of Quinn's bags, ushering the girl in, she quickly turns and closes the door behind them.

"How are they?" Quinn asks, looking at the two sleeping figures in front of her.

"A mess. I don't know Quinn, I just can't believe this happened." Santana runs her hand through her hair, she is trying to keep the lump in her throat at bay, but the feeling of grief is overwhelming.

"I know. It just seems like yesterday we were all together in the choir room making fun of his horrible dancing. Do you know how it happened?" The blonde looks at her, tears running down her face, she quickly wipes them away.

"No, I don't want to." Santana responds finally dropping the girl's bag on the floor.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?"

"No, I'm good. I don't really have any appetite at the moment." Quinn says, "Even when she is sleeping you can tell her mind is running a million miles a minute." The blonde leans on the kitchen counter looking at the little brunette.

"Yea, she really loved him. I never heard a person cry as hard as she has today." Santana takes a seat at the kitchen table, Quinn following her actions. "She is truly broken Q, it's scary."

"All those times we talked, she asked for advice. I told her not to marry him. That it would ruin her life. I never imagined this-" Quinn covers her mouth, trying to keep her emotions in check.

Santana grabs a tissue and hands it to the blonde.

"Maybe if they would have gotten married, this wouldn't have happened. You know? If that stupid wreck didn't happen. If I would have only supported her."

"Don't." Santana snapped, a little harsher then she expected it to sound.

"s-sorry, just- don't please. Don't blame yourself Q." her voice becoming softer.

"There is nothing you, or I, or Rachel could have done. It just happened." She knew that if they kept this conversation going it would only lead into an argument, or both of them breaking down into sobs, so instead she did the one thing that needed to be done.

She reached over and hugged Quinn.

The blonde tensed but slowly started to relax in her arms, soft cries were muffled by her shoulder.

She knew that Quinn and Finn had history. She knew that Quinn always felt guilty for leading Finn on, for lying to him about Beth, for taking his friendship for granted at times.

Her and Quinn use to talk a lot, especially after Beth.

That is why she confided in Quinn about who she really was.

Who she really loved.

…

Loves.

"Qu-Quinn?" A small voice broke their embrace.

Rachel was standing in the doorway, her blanket still wrapped around her.

"Hey Rach." The blonde stood up and made her way to the brunette, wrapping her up in her arms.

"Im so sorry. So so sorry." Quinn mumbled resting her head on top of the smaller girls.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn, and buried her face into the blonde's necks. Rachel's body shook from her sobbing. The taller blonde blinked away her tears, though her bottom lip trembled. It was only a matter of minutes before she would lose the fight and break down as well.

Santana looked on as her friends comforted one another.

Cried with one another.

It made her think of how she was missing that one feeling.

Comfort.

Only one person ever made her truly feel that.

Brittany.

She has told herself since she got there that she made the right choice by letting Brittany go.

She would always love the blonde girl, no matter what. But she knew that Brittany could do anything she wanted, she didn't want to be the one to hold her back.

She actually chuckled at how pathetic her excuses were.

She looked over at her friends again who had migrated to the couch with Kurt. All of them huddled together.

All three of them in their own little world.

She couldn't imagine what Rachel was going through.

To lose the love of your life.

Brittany popping back in her mind.

She would have reacted the same way Rachel did when she got the phone call.

Dropping the glass cup, which is still scattered on the floor.

Dropping to the ground. Crying so hard she couldn't breathe.

Screaming at the top of her lungs why and no.

As if it would bring him back.

If she ever lost Brittany..

She didn't even want to finish the thought.

It made a wave of nausea hit her hard.

She shook her head to rid that horrible thought.

She needed to hear her voice.

She needed some kind of comfort.

Walking past her friends she rubbed each of their shoulders.

"I'm going to make a phone call; I'll be right out here."

She climbed through the window back outside to the fire escape.

Her phone illuminated her face, her surroundings.

She scrolled down to her name.

As always the girl picked it up on the second ring.

"Santana?"

She could hear the sadness in her voice, it sounded as if the girl had been sleeping.

"Hey Britt Britt. Did I wake you?" she asked, nothing but compassion feeling her voice.

"No, I can't sleep. How are you? and Rachel and Kurt? How are they?"

"I will be alright. Rach and Kurt, I'm not going to lie, they are hurting right now."

"I wish I was there to give them big hugs." Brittany said and little yawns escaping her lips.

"I know, you always give the best hugs." Santana smiled for the first time that day.

"Why did this happen San?"

She knew there was no real answer to that question.

Not one she would ever know.

"I don't know Britt." She cleared her throat trying to hold back the tears.

"Things happen sometimes with no real reason, there isn't an answer to the why or because." She took a shaky breath, trying to figure out how to best answer the blonde. "In those instances you just have to let things be. It sucks and those times are the hardest and most heartbreaking times."

"This is one of those times huh San?" Brittany whispered.

"Yea, it is." Santana said, losing control she let out a small whimper. The tears running down her face.

"I hate to hear you cry." The blonde said.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to be strong for Rachel and Kurt- but its hard-"

"You are the strongest person I know. You have the most beautiful heart. Rachel and Kurt are lucky to have you there with them. You will help them through this. Just like you helped me through most of high school. You're like a guiding light with legs."

Santana laughed through her tears "Thanks Brittany, you always know what to say."

"Of course I do, I know you better than you know yourself." The blonde said, sniffling.

"You do." Santana looked out over the streets below, most of them empty; occasionally a person or two would stroll by. "I'm going to let you go Britt. I need to get back in there with Rachel, Kurt, and Quinn. I will call you tomorrow?"

"Please. I miss your voice. I miss you." Brittany said.

"I miss you too." Santana closed her eyes, tears running down her face again.

"Goodnight San." Brittany said before ending the call.

"Goodnight Brittany."

Wiping her face, she climbed back into the apartment.

She turned and closed the window before joining her three friends on the couch.

Sharing blankets they all laid together, a million thoughts running through their heads.

Tissues being passed to one another.

"We will have to go back home." Kurt mumbled. "For the funeral, if you want."

The boy had hardly spoken since he woke up.

Quinn looked over to Santana and gave a silent nod.

Both girls looked at Rachel who had her eyes tightly closed as if pretending she was not there at the moment.

"I will pack our bags tomorrow." Santana said before resting her head on top of Rachel's and closing her eyes.

It was going to be a sleepless night for her.


End file.
